Choke A Cola


We all have our crosses to bear in life. Those little things that always seem to plague us no matter what. If you haven’t already gathered mine, take a gander at my favorite sports teams under the “Extras” tab on this website. I will give you 10 seconds now to do so…


Ok, now that you have done that did anything stand out?

(I won’t bother opening the floor for discussion, this blog isn’t exactly bleeding with comments from crazed fans…yet.)

Ladies and gentlemen, I like teams that choke. And when my team chokes in or before they make the post-season, the team I decide to pull for the rest of the way–chokes accordingly.



Yes, I’m afraid my teams have been drinking Choke-A-Cola since I was 4 years old. That was 1995, and by no coincidence the last year the Atlanta Braves and Dallas Cowboys were World Champions.

I was born in 1991, By the time I was 4, the Cowboys had won 3 Super Bowls, the Braves started their 14 consecutive division titles streak and won a World Series. The significance of that to me at the time—none. I was too busy sneaking away to soil my diaper and play with barbi- uhhh I mean GI Joes.

Since then, it has been one choke after another, and on the biggest and brightest stages. My teams don’t just lose, they lose bad. I mean they rip your heart out and blow it to pieces, then are kind enough to do it again the following season. Whether it’s dropped snaps or walk-off homers my teams have a real flare for the dramatic–choking edition.


As previously stated it doesn’t just plague my true blue favorites, but any team I decide to root for at any given time. In 2011-2012 the Atlanta Braves were a customary early exit in the playoffs so I decided to pull for the Reds. Being from Cincinnati, it was cool to see one of our teams in the national spotlight. What happened next? The Reds lost 3 straight games at home, squandering a 2-0 series lead, allowing San Francisco to advance to the NLCS and eventually win the World Series.

Case in point.

This last Super Bowl, or should I say Snoozer Bowl was no different. I pledged my allegiance to Peyton Manning and the best offensive team not just this season, but of all-time. In return I was rewarded with 8 measly points and one of the most lopsided Super Bowls in the history of the game.

There will be plenty more opportunities for me to sound off on the Cowboys or Braves by themselves and trust me, in time I will. But for now, I’ll leave the magnitude of their recent failures for you to reflect on. Just know each time I had a front row seat.

Furthermore, I would be remiss if I didn’t at-least give the Kansas Jayhawks basketball squad some credit. They’ve been mopping up my tears from Dallas Cowboys disasters for years. However, they aren’t entirely without blood on their hands. They did go 20 years in between National Championships. But hey, toddler years aside, it was the only time a team I called my own reigned tall atop the sports mountain. All is forgiven.

Cowboys…Braves…that could be you. But I won’t hold my breath.


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