Dayscare

daddyd

Eddie Murphy, I feel your pain. What started out as a good deed just turned in to a valuable life experience. My mom operates a home daycare, and has for close to 25 years. I turn 23 later this month and the significance of that- it took me until today to realize what it takes to do what she does.

Daycare is no place for daddies-or me.

Honestly, if you would have asked me any time before today I wouldn’t have seen the challenge. Open the “play-room” doors and let them wreak their havoc, maybe read a picture book,  two if you’re feeling really frisky, lay ’em down for a nap from 12-3, then open the “play-room” doors and let them wreak their havoc, maybe read a picture book or two–you get the point.

False.

My mom had a doctors appointment today at 12:30 and was planning on having one of our neighbors fill in for her while she was out. Perhaps she knew I couldn’t hack it, but I just assumed she forgot I was an option. “Pshh I got it mom, why would one of the neighbors have to come over when I’ll be home? I got it, it will be fine.”  Over-confidence at times can be my achilles heel.

The air started to seep out of my proverbial balloon when she said “Ok, be downstairs tomorrow at 10am.”

10am? Didn’t she say her appointment was at 12:30? All I’m accustomed to doing at 10am is gearing up for another 2 hours of sleep. Failing to budge on my “report time” she reminded me that I spend very little time down in her daycare while the kids are there. “If you want them to take a nap and NOT go crazy when I leave you should probably think about spending some time with them while I’m there.”

Yes, mom.

Poised to fail my first day as the substitute of “Michelle’s Daycare,” my mom had to knock down walls to wake me up at 10 this morning.

“You were serious about that?” I said still half asleep. Very poor choice of words.

As soon as I arrived in the basement I isolated the 2 year old, Luca, to start shmoozing. I knew he would most likely be the one giving me fits when my mom left. For reasons unbeknownst I decided to start calling his name in this deep kind of rumbling voice “LUUUCAAA…” My mom without missing a beat says to me, “Yeah thats called scaring him, thats not a good strategy.”

Fail again.

at&t

It was now time for “circle time” and my mom announces to the kids that I will be doing the honor of reading the story. I must not have gotten that memo, but at this point all four kids were working in to a frenzy, “YEAH AARON READ IT READ IT READ IT!”

Fine.

So there I was reading a picture book about a chameleon who was tired of changing colors. I got one kid starting to walk on me, and while withstanding his stomps to my mid-section another one loses interest and starts bouncing a beach ball off the ceiling. I obviously had zero control of the situation and the little buggers were quick to realize it.

Each time anarchy began to unfold and the inmates ran the asylum, my mom would regain control and hand the reigns back over to me. Sink or swim, I respect that philosophy. But I’m beginning to think I gotta better chance of succeeding at basic underwater demolition seal training than I do at home daycare.

I handled up on what I had to do and got them in their napping spots as instructed. But nap-time is over now and my mom still isn’t home. Back to the front lines I go.

Here’s to diapers being dry and my impending retirement which starts as soon as my mom walks through the door.

Praise to the moms out there. This job isn’t for the faint of heart.

Salute.

-BKB

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#1 Hit in Waiting?

The most bizarre thing happened to me at work on Friday January 24, 2014. Interning at Cumulus Media, I was about halfway thorough another shift when I randomly got a beat in my head. This can happen from time to time, but I always end up remembering the song that beat belonged to. This time I didn’t. I realized after a few minutes that this beat was original, and decided I would have some fun with it. Jokingly at first, and to help deviate from the monotony of another work day, I started making up lyrics to fit the beat I was now humming audibly. The longer I kept this up the more serious I got about putting it to paper. Unfortunately, I still had a job to do and that “241 Cars” traffic line was not letting up. However, just as the phone continued to ring, blaring in my mind this beat continued to play. Needless to say, by the time I left work at 5 I had created the chorus to my first song. Thrilled by the direction the song was heading, I couldn’t wait to get home and write it down. Anyway, the song was completed that night and I’m convinced I have something here. If only Eric Church was easily reached I think this song would not only fit his criteria, but his style of country rock. Below are the lyrics to my first song in which I titled “Alone.” Sounds a tad depressing by title, and it doesn’t totally fit my personality, but perhaps in this instance I was used only for reasons of the divine?

Alone

VERSE 1

Livin’ in a whirlwind covered in mud
Benefits of livin life misunderstood
I’m an alpha male addict
Relationship tragic
Never been one for the lovey dove stuff
Rather spend my time underneath of my truck
Holdin’ on to my pride, never set it aside
At the expense of my wife, and love of my life
But then again, all wounds will mend

CHORUS

Yeah I was raised a man through a firm backhand
Emotions not pride were suicide
Don’t worry ’bout me I’ll be just fine
Cause in my mind
I’ll just go home and sit on my throne
I don’t need you no
I’ll make it through this on my own
But then I close my eyes and try to sleep at night
Fightin’ visions of you standin by my side
I want you home I feel alone
I want you home I feel alone

VERSE 2

In a bout with these feelings I’ve never had
I’ve never felt so close to feelin’ so bad
I don’t know what to do, this all is new
But I can’t fight the thought of me lovin’ you
Ya better watch yourself is what my daddy’d say
I’ll bet ya by now he’s rollin in his grave
I gotta look alive, quit feelin deprived
I’m the last of my kind, I will survive
Cause then again, all wounds will mend

CHORUS

Yeah I was raised a man through a firm backhand
Emotions not pride were suicide
Don’t worry ’bout me I’ll be just fine
Cause in my mind
I’ll just go home and sit on my throne
I don’t need you no
I’ll make it through this on my own
But then I close my eyes and try to sleep at night
Fightin’ visions of you standin by my side
I want you home I feel alone
I want you home I feel alone

BRIDGE

I spent my whole life long buildin up these walls
That fell the day you left
Now I can say what I say but at the end of the day
I want my baby

FINAL CHORUS

I can tell myself I’ll just go home and sit on my throne
I don’t need you no
I can make it through this on my own
But then I close my eyes and try to sleep at night
Fightin’ visions of you standin’ by my side
I want you home I feel alone
I need you home I feel alone
Baby come back home I am alone

-BKB